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[00:00:01] Hello and welcome to the first episode of HEROES. I'm your host, Brian. We live in a culture that spends a lot of time celebrating people who are famous. This show is about the rest of us. People quietly doing extraordinary things. Overcoming life's challenges, giving back, making courageous choices. Maybe showing up for others or simply choosing a different path when it would have been easier not to. They don't have millions of followers, no fanfare, and not nearly enough applause. HEROES is our chance to change that.

[00:00:31] One story at a time. And chances are the people you meet here would never call themselves HEROES. That's exactly why we want you to meet them. My first guest is someone I've known for almost 30 years. She also happens to be the producer of HEROES, but that's not why she's sitting on the other side of the microphone today. Welcome, Marie. Hey, Brian. Nice to be here. Feels weird to be here on this side.

[00:00:57] Yeah, I get it. I'm very happy to have you here. So Marie and I met when she was working as a temp receptionist in a company we both worked for. She was raising two kids on her own, going to school at night. Everybody in the office loved Marie personally and professionally. And I remember eventually pulling her into my office because I was curious and wanted to know more about you.

[00:01:21] And so Marie ended up spending years with this company and eventually became the liaison between the National Accounts Group and IT. That itself is pretty extraordinary from a temp receptionist. But that's not why she's here today. So Marie, before we get to the part of your story, I really want people to hear how the hell did you do all that? Two kids, work school at night. And what was that period of your life actually like?

[00:01:50] Now I look back at that and wonder the same thing. How the hell did I do all of it? I guess you just keep going at it. You know, I wanted the best for my two children and I just did everything I could to provide them with everything that I felt, you know, would be helpful to them and have fun with them.

[00:02:13] Yeah. And I think for a lot of us, like we think about these things, but it's a decision you make, right? Like, okay, I'm going to, while doing the rest of this, I'm going to go back to school. Was that, was that, did you sit on that decision for a while before you pulled the trigger and started doing it? I did because I started college out of high school and quit and, you know, started working. And it took me 22 years to get my degree.

[00:02:42] I mean, but the thing, the way that I got myself to finish it was that it was like, I want to graduate college before my kids graduate college. I seem, I actually seem to recall that discussion. Yes. Now that you say that.

[00:02:58] I was also thinking the other day too, that, and I don't know if you're going to remember this at one point you, and I don't know if you asked me to read it just to read it or, or to like edit it, but you wrote a paper and it had something to do with like male, female societal relationships. What, what was that? Do you recall it? Well, yes. Well, some of it at the moment, boy, I haven't thought of that paper in ages.

[00:03:24] But yeah, it was something for school and I know it, it had to do with, you know, what is, what is it that we're giving to our kids early on that provides them with the impetus to do things in their life? Yeah. So that was a part of it. And then it was really interesting to delve into the project. I think I remember that portion, but what else I remember about it? I'm not sure.

[00:03:53] I remember writing it. No, but I, I, I remember like first being impressed by you and then reading that and going, holy smokes, like very thoughtful. And, and as you say, it was even, I didn't even then like this notion of giving back, like how, how can we make our kids' lives better? Yeah. So when, when you were doing all that, did it feel extraordinary or you were just one foot in front of the other? Exactly. Exactly. No, it didn't feel extraordinary at all.

[00:04:23] It's what I wanted to do, you know, for my kids and for my life at that point in time. And so I just kept at it. Yeah. I did what I could. Yeah. And, and I think as, as you and I talked about starting this show, I think that's the thing. Like it is extraordinary. Right. And some of the stuff I've done in my life and hopefully people that are listening, like we, this is, this is not easy things to do. Yeah.

[00:04:52] So speaking of not easy things. So years later, something happened. No parent should ever have to experience you. You lost your daughter, Natalie to suicide. I know that's not an easy thing to talk about, but it's an important part of why I wanted you here. For sure. Talk to me about that period of your life, Marie. Oh, that was like, how am I ever going to live past this? Yeah. You know, it was like such a huge stop.

[00:05:22] I mean, everything totally was before that and after that. And to me, I was like, how do people go on after this? Yes. I mean, your whole belief system just collapses. And I took on, you know, what, what is it that I truly believe in? And what is it that will get me to keep going as other people have?

[00:05:52] So, you know, I started out with some group therapy. I did one-on-one therapy. I took self-improvement courses. I mean, I tried all sorts of different things and, you know, all of them gave a little piece. And it was really interesting how that all fit together and totally a puzzle, which, you know, you don't know where the pieces are going to go together or not, but somehow they do.

[00:06:18] So it's really very cool that as much as I miss my daughter and wish she were here for sure, I also get that I had a gift from all of this. Yes. Well, yeah, it's interesting too, because I feel like you made this shift, right? It's pure, pure, unadulterated grief, which is what I'm hearing you say.

[00:06:43] But then there was a moment where you sort of started turning outward and focusing your grief on giving back. Like, was that kind of similar question to the school thing? Was that a conscious decision? Did it just evolve? Well, I was in like some sort of self-improvement course at that point. And I started something called Creating Today, which was based on my finding a quote.

[00:07:11] For some reason, quotes really came to me. They actually came to me. And I was like, wow, I needed this today. And so I used that along with like, okay, so if this came to me, how can I use it in my life just for today? And that's where my Creating Today practice came from, creating something new.

[00:07:38] And now today, I wouldn't say I definitely create that as I did for like three or four years. But I do know that I create right now in everything I do, peace, love, and joy. So, yeah. I love you. So, no, it's interesting too, because as a fan of Eastern philosophy, you know, there's the notion of being present, right? And don't just let your day happen to you.

[00:08:06] And I will tell you that I had the same reaction to some of those Creating Todays where I was like, holy crap. And I think I told you this back in the day. I'm like, that, boom. I needed that. And I'm not going to let today own me. I'm going to own today. And that was one of the first things I watched you do. The next thing I watched you do, which also blew me away, is teaching mental health first aid classes.

[00:08:34] And I'm fascinated by this. Tell me a little bit about those. Well, an opportunity presented itself. And it was to take a brand new course that was out called Mental Health First Aid. And I could go to training for free. And I was like, whoa. You know, so I contacted them and they said, well, there's a wait list. I was like, well, can you put me on it? You know, we'll see what happens.

[00:09:04] Like two weeks before, they called me and said, we've got a space for you. That was like amazing. But when I, you know, when I think about it now and I go back, I mean, some of those first courses that I talk, you know, we had to talk about suicide. And here's me crying. But, you know, the response from the room was amazing. Yeah.

[00:09:33] You know, they were right there for me. Yeah. And I was like, wow, this is just incredible. So at some point, you know, I was able to speak a little easier about it, I guess. But the fact that I totally got at that point that we don't take care of our mental health. Yes.

[00:09:58] We let it slide and think, you know, think of all the other things on our to-do list and rarely check in with, you know, how are we truly doing mentally? And what can we do to improve that? You know, there are, again, practices to help us during tough times. And, you know, whatever I could do to help someone I would like to do that. Or if I can, even if I provide them with just a resource.

[00:10:28] You know, something else. Because I can't make it happen for them. Yeah. They have to do all that on their own. So, yeah, if I can provide a resource. And that's how I felt about the mental health first day, that it was truly educating people about things to think about and possibilities. We had an action plan of how do you deal with someone, you know, that's talking to you about things that are hard to discuss. Yes.

[00:10:57] What's fascinating to me about that when I first learned of it from you is that many of us have had physical first aid classes. If you sprained your ankle, well, you actually blew your knee out on a bicycle on Thanksgiving, but we won't. Yeah. And you weren't drinking. I'll add to that. While there was a turkey in the oven. Like, I probably wouldn't have been able to help you with that. But, you know, we do know someone sprains an ankle. Someone has a cut. Like, we've had some kind of first aid classes.

[00:11:27] And it's indicative of our society, I think, the point that you're making that we're really there's not many places that prepare us for this. So, like, what would an unbelievably powerful tool to give to people, even, you know, even just the basics, just like we get with regular first aid. Yes, exactly.

[00:11:47] The other thing I watched you do that was just amazing and powerful to me was you started kind of producing art shows featuring artists, artists who had died by suicide featuring their work. And, you know, I have a question here about why did you start it? I know why you started it.

[00:12:13] But let me move to the next question, which is sort of when you reached out to people like you who had lost someone and said, hey, I want to show son, daughter, niece, nephews work. What was their reaction? Oh, you know, I think every person realized that the artwork that was created by their loved one. That's it. We're not getting any more.

[00:12:41] Yeah, we're not getting any more of this. We need to see this, you know. And so, you know, I did a show with just Natalie's work. And then after that, I did a show with 14 other artists. And those all those artists had died by suicide. And walking into that gallery and the people in there and and this was just a space for healing. Yeah. Yeah. Plain and simple.

[00:13:12] Just beautiful. Yeah. Just and powerful. I mean, I keep using that word, but it's just what keeps coming to me. How about do you remember like maybe, you know, there's kind of emotional reactions to people who attend, but separate of the families. Do you remember any comments from any people who were there, like people who said things to you about like what the show meant? Uh-huh. To them? Yeah. Hmm. Let me think.

[00:13:43] Nothing comes to mind at the moment. I'm sure. I'm sure it happened. But how about the room? And I think you've been to traditional art shows and then these art shows. Did you feel any sense of a difference in that room as opposed to a traditional art show? I think just the peace. Yeah.

[00:14:02] For some reason, having that artwork up and displaying what was there for our loved ones just brought so much peace. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually hard to explain. Yeah. And, you know, I never expected that. You know, I just thought we were going to go show the artwork and felt like it was a regular art kind of show.

[00:14:33] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was called not unnoticed. Oh, my gosh. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Not unnoticed. Yes. Exactly. I'm so glad you bring that up. And I love how you described the feeling of the room. I mean, I think that I wouldn't have thought that, but it totally makes sense. And what a payback for doing the work, right? To just feel that and know that you created that in that room.

[00:15:02] So somewhere along the way, you also, in my opinion, became a pretty accomplished artist. I've seen some of your paintings. And Natalie was a photographer. Your photography is outstanding. Thank you. Talk to me a little bit about that. Like, what does it do for you? How is it related to this journey? So, I mean, I did a lot of art, like, back in high school. I started college about art.

[00:15:29] And in the second year, there were no, like, the college I went to, there was no art course I could take, which is why I ended up leaving the college and going to work. Because I was like, why do I want to do all this other stuff? I want to do art. But, you know, it wasn't an art school that I was going to. So, I guess from that, and I probably put art aside for many years. Yeah.

[00:15:56] And now, I don't know, in the last 10 years or that, I've come back to it. And I've been trying different mediums of art. And it's been very cool just to experiment with it all again. I think that's one of the things out of Natalie's death was that I probably try things.

[00:16:23] I try things not more often, but I'm willing to try things because I don't know what's going to happen. You know, I don't know, especially art-wise, how is that going to help me heal from my daughter's suicide death? But somehow, it has. Well, I get it. Well, and it's also Natalie resurrecting that artist in you. Yeah. Which is, that to me, which is really, really cool.

[00:16:53] So, I want to jump back up to kind of a higher level. I watched two different mothers, one being my own with death of my brother. And I watched another mother, my mother-in-law, who lost two children in a matter of months. And I saw two completely different reactions from them, right? And one was more like yours, and one was, you know, a completely different reaction.

[00:17:23] So, yeah, it's like you could have just focused on you. And you went out and used this outrageous grief to help other people. Yeah. How did you do that? It was like things were coming to me, and I took action. Yeah.

[00:17:51] As opposed to things coming to me and just like, oh, no, no, no, no. You know, that's not going to help anything. Yeah. I don't know that I can truly explain it other than I was compelled in some way to do certain things. And I figured just go with it. But I think, yeah, I think that the difference is you paid attention to it.

[00:18:14] And then, as I said earlier, you're like, you make decisions in your life to do things that, again, don't feel extraordinary to you. They do to me when I watch other people do these things. And so you've been through a lot when you think about raising two kids as a single mom and going to school. And now the woman who sits across the camera from me. What are you proudest of?

[00:18:42] Oh, I think it would have to be that I am living my life with joy and thriving instead of surviving the worst thing that could happen. So, yeah, I think that is. That is the thing I'm proudest of. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:11] No, that it's kind of back to the creating today thing, which is the first. No, the first push you have, like I'm going to decide, make a decision to live with joy. Yeah. Million dollar question. Do you consider yourself a hero? No. I'm just doing what's coming towards me, you know, and where I feel compelled to go. No, no, there's no heroism.

[00:19:42] I think. I think I get that, you know, when people say you're brave and that I get where they're coming from with that. And and I will accept that because, yeah, I do feel that I'm brave, but that doesn't make you a hero. That just means you're willing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it's interesting as you and I worked on the show and we have the tagline of quietly extraordinary. Yeah.

[00:20:10] That that might be even more relevant than the hero. I think you're a hero, but I also think you're quietly extraordinary. And I think there are a lot of humans out there in the world who are and and we we need to to recognize it.

[00:20:27] So this show, the you know, the idea of the show is finding these quiet heroes who who kind of fall into a few buckets, like making courageous decisions, overcoming really powerful obstacles and helping others. And in your story, I think you did all three. I was trying to think of like what category. And I think you did them all. So thank you for for your story and your vulnerability and your courage to show up here today and talk about this.

[00:20:57] Thank you, Brian. I appreciate it. Honored to be here. And hey, I want to switch this up and have you as my hero. Oh, I'll be I'll be honored to do that. I would love to have you interview me. So for everyone else in closing, for everyone listening, you probably know someone, right? Maybe they've overcome something. They give back. They made a courageous choice or they just show up every day in a way that deserves to be noticed.

[00:21:24] If someone came to mind while you're listening, you can send the stories to us at hero stories dot net. Hero stories dot net. There's a quick questionnaire in there about that person. So again, thank you, Marie. And until next time, for anybody who's listening, keep noticing the quietly extraordinary people around you. Very nice. Thank you. Bye.